Choosing the Right Executor (and Trustee)
Most people name their oldest child, their closest sibling, or their best friend. But executor and trustee are working roles, not honorary titles. The person you choose will be making decisions, meeting deadlines, and communicating with family during an emotional time. The right choice keeps your plan on track. The wrong one can delay everything, stir up conflict, and waste money.
What an executor actually does
An executor is responsible for carrying out the terms of your will after your death. That usually includes:
Opening the estate: Locating the will, filing it with the court, and being appointed.
Securing and inventorying assets: From bank accounts to homes, valuables, and even online accounts.
Paying what’s owed: Final bills, taxes, and valid claims against the estate.
Communicating: Keeping beneficiaries informed and answering their questions.
Closing the estate: Distributing assets, collecting receipts, and filing to close out the estate.
It’s detail-heavy and deadline-driven. A calm organizer usually does better than a sentimental favorite.
What a trustee actually does
A trustee manages assets held in trust, which can last for years. Duties include:
Investing prudently and keeping financial records.
Making distributions according to the trust terms (for health, education, support, or on a set schedule).
Balancing beneficiaries’ interests (for example, children now and grandchildren later).
Filing tax returns and handling ongoing administration.
A trustee is a long-term fiduciary role. Pick someone steady, impartial, and willing to ask for help.
What makes a good choice
Trustworthy. If you wouldn’t trust them with your checkbook, don’t trust them with your estate.
Organized. Estates and trusts involve paperwork, taxes, and deadlines.
Calm under pressure. Families grieve differently, and sometimes conflict flares.
Available. Local and accessible is often better than far-away.
Willing. Don’t surprise someone with the job—ask first.
Red flags to avoid
Naming the oldest child by default, even if they aren’t suited to the role.
Choosing co-executors who don’t get along.
Picking a “favorite” child who already sparks resentment.
Appointing someone far away who can’t realistically handle Pennsylvania probate.
Relying on well-meaning but disorganized friends who may miss deadlines.
Do you really need a professional?
For most families, the best executor or trustee is still a trusted relative or friend. They don’t have to do everything themselves. Executors are expected to hire professionals when needed—lawyers for court filings, accountants for taxes, appraisers for valuables. The estate pays for those costs. Good judgment and clear communication matter more than professional credentials.
There are times when a professional trustee makes sense—such as a trust designed to last for decades, a family with deep conflict, or an estate involving a business or complex assets. Even then, compare costs carefully. In many cases, a family member supported by legal and financial advisors can handle the role just as well.
Practical tips
Always name an alternate. Life changes; your first choice may not be able to serve.
Talk to them now. Confirm they’re willing and understand what’s involved.
Compensation is normal. Executors and trustees are entitled to reasonable pay. Clarifying that up front avoids awkwardness later.
The bottom line
The executor or trustee is the person carrying your plan across the finish line. They don’t need to be the smartest or the closest. They need to be steady, fair, and reliable. Choosing the right person now is one of the best gifts you can leave your family.